Taking my leave

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Zakken
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Taking my leave

#1

Post by Zakken » Sun Apr 26, 2015 8:13 am

Hey. I'm not sure where to start, but I've got more bad news up your alley. I was going to post this as a reply to my own clan thread, but given how big this particular subject has gotten, it's better off being its own thread. I want people to see this and, if they want, send in their inputs.

The truth of the matter is, I am no longer interested in maintaining a competitive mindset for this game. I'll be honest, and I won't sugarcoat this: the competitive community is pretty freaking dead. Whether it's duels, TDM, or CTF, the numbers have dwindled so much and they show no sign of ever growing back up. The excitement and hype that I felt from being part of a large community that overall had a strong interest in competing and beating the crap out of each other has been long gone. Tournaments are barely staying alive, attendance and contribution from the top players is practically nonexistent (which is a big downer, because if the top players don't give a damn, then everybody else is unlikely not to follow suit) and no one is that dedicated to practice and improve anymore. You may try to argue against that statement, it is a fact that the scene is nowhere near as exciting as it once was. I don't want to spend God knows how many years trying to rebuild the scene into something greater again, specially because 1. my odds of succeeding are slim and 2. it won't be that rewarding if I succeeded anyway, because my competitive ambitions have gotten a LOT bigger than what they used to be when competition was big, partly because I was only 16 years old at the time.

Speaking of which, my age is another thing to be addressed: I'm 20 years old right now. I'm at the apex of my physical and mental capabilities, and I strong believe that there is so much more I could achieve, if I put effort into the right things. I can't help but feel as though I'd be wasting my time if I continued to invest my efforts in trying to become the best at Doom (CTF in particular), so I am shifting my focus elsewhere. I don't know where exactly, but maybe UT4 or Smash 4 will present themselves as good options for me? I'll figure something out though.

Anyways, to put it bluntly, I am officially disbanding AV now. Some of you may have expected this due to the long-term inactivity we've faced for several months, but that alone was not reason enough for me to make this decision as you know by now, though I'll admit I never really had the drive to truly fix this issue with my clan. Nobody who remained with me even plays anymore, sans Yorick, and he has no interest in taking over for the clan, so as far as relevant free agents go, only the two of us will become up for grabs. I will still be around occasionally, and I will be happy to serve any clan that's worthy of keeping me around if they'd like. If others can still find good use in my current skills for them, then that's great. Just don't expect me to play nearly as much, or with remotely any dedication towards having a competitive drive that I had before. Objectively speaking, I am no different from other half-active, half-retired players I'm sure you know, from now on.

As for the Tendency tournaments, I severely doubt I'll keep running them in light of my new decisions. It was hasty and silly of me to plan out an entire year's worth of tournaments, but I didn't waste anyone's time (and I don't think anyone was /that/ excited for all of the upcoming tournaments), so it is no big loss. If anyone would like to host new tournaments based off of it, I welcome it.

Lastly, I do not intend to spark any drama with this thread. I'm writing this purely for informational purposes. So indeed, it was an entertaining run, but it is time for me to move on.

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RE: Taking my leave

#2

Post by mr fiat » Sun Apr 26, 2015 9:02 am

when i saw the title i thought like it wasnt needed to post this publicly, but i can see where you are coming from. i feel the scene has itself to blame for this im afraid and i think this has been talked about before, for a long time the scene was very hostille towards newer players. also nobody even tries to promote competetive play here, people seemed to rather keep the game to them selves and it shows.

the mod scene is far more popular and for good reason, its far more accesable.
Last edited by mr fiat on Sun Apr 26, 2015 9:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

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RE: Taking my leave

#3

Post by Slim » Sun Apr 26, 2015 9:39 am

Well that's a damn shame, good luck in your future endeavors Soul, I'm sure you'll be missed (by most regulars anyways, not that I'm saying I won't, I like a busy community and hate to see any kind of event organizer leave).

Not that this extra input is needed but, even though I always meant to attend some of the other Tendencies, my time never allowed it, and I apologize for that. Probably missed out on some fun times. Still, it was great to have ya.

Soul wrote: but maybe UT4 or Smash 4 will present themselves as good options for me? I'll figure something out though.
[spoiler]May the smash be with you (if you really got into it and maybe had a YT channel on it I'd sub for sure).
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RE: Taking my leave

#4

Post by Samurai » Sun Apr 26, 2015 9:54 am

It's a shame to say AV die, it wasn't really an active clan of late like you say, but still it was a decent and well established/respected clan. Also sad to hear about the tendencies coming to an end, but I would hope I speak on behalf of the community that your time and effort was appreciated.

The good news is at least you're sticking around.

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RE: Taking my leave

#5

Post by Ivan » Sun Apr 26, 2015 1:16 pm

I think I'm not alone on this: About time you left... You never had the potential to "become the best" (as if it matters) and you were chasing after useless objectives. You finally realize you wasted your time.
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RE: Taking my leave

#6

Post by Ænima » Sun Apr 26, 2015 2:23 pm

Why even make a big deal about it though? Just disappear for a few weeks and then come play whenever you feel like it like everyone else does. You're stressing too much over the community changing, but there's still much fun to be had, even if competition is dead (I would say more on that topic but I don't really know shit about it). You made some good efforts when it came to events and I'm sure a lot of players appreciate that. The "old days" are never coming back, welcome to growing up. But there's still an unlimited amount of spur-of-the-moment fun to be had if you're open to playing a little differently (and less frequently).


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RE: Taking my leave

#7

Post by FateLord » Sun Apr 26, 2015 2:44 pm

But activity has sparked recently. Maybe AV wasn't the key, but maybe the new clans are. Things will always change and the sooner we get used to it the better off we'll be. I see priv's daily now. This happens literally every year, winter comes, people get busy, so the few stragglers complain that competition is dead. However, it's just the school/work phase that's annual. Summer's coming, so at least a spark of competition should return.

AV was a good clan, I had a good 5 months in it. However, it wasn't the most active clan. What clan you are in affects greatly on your outlook of competition. AV was practically inactive it's whole life. AV wasn't the right clan for you, considering your endeavors in this port.

Competition isn't dead. Priv happens all the time now. A clan scrimmage happens almost every day. Duelists like DemonSphere, Mathayus, and Nati have returned to the scene. The port is still progressing in the competitive scene, however like I said, your outlook, due to what clan your in, is almost biased and obscured due to how much you play, vs. how much people like G_ or [TE] play.

Every year, for as long as I've been on this port (which isn't that long), competition increased, and then competition decreased. This would fluctuate with the seasons, the decrease happens in the Winter, and the increase happens in the Summer. People just get busy. Their IRL endeavors are more important than Doom. They can't help it. People are getting older, so their schedule becomes more full. Take Prospekt, one of the best duelists that was in , is about 37 now. He's gotten too old for this so he really doesn't play anymore. But there are younger players attempting to make their way into competitive Doom: Otacon, Killer2, Myself, etc.

My conclusion is this: Instead of focusing on the old legacy players, and competitive doom being like the way it "used to be," focus on what's new, such as the new players, or new server updates. Move with the speed of the port. Try a new clan or something, with new players, or join one, don't give up on Doom just because it's not how it used to be. It's time for all of us to grow up.
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RE: Taking my leave

#8

Post by Kara Kurt » Sun Apr 26, 2015 6:51 pm

Ænima wrote: Why even make a big deal about it though? Just disappear for a few weeks and then come play whenever you feel like it like everyone else does. You're stressing too much over the community changing, but there's still much fun to be had, even if competition is dead (I would say more on that topic but I don't really know shit about it). You made some good efforts when it came to events and I'm sure a lot of players appreciate that. The "old days" are never coming back, welcome to growing up. But there's still an unlimited amount of spur-of-the-moment fun to be had if you're open to playing a little differently (and less frequently).
^This

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RE: Taking my leave

#9

Post by Tenchu » Sun Apr 26, 2015 10:40 pm

Having gone through a 'quitting' phase of my own in my time here, twice actually, I've come to learn one thing:
Ænima wrote: Why even make a big deal about it though? Just disappear for a few weeks and then come play whenever you feel like it like everyone else does. You're stressing too much over the community changing, but there's still much fun to be had, even if competition is dead (I would say more on that topic but I don't really know shit about it). You made some good efforts when it came to events and I'm sure a lot of players appreciate that. The "old days" are never coming back, welcome to growing up. But there's still an unlimited amount of spur-of-the-moment fun to be had if you're open to playing a little differently (and less frequently).


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This is completely on point. Hope to see ya around when you've got everything together Soul!
[22:42:21] [@SkullRush] ok guys today was one of the worst days of my life i spent p much 18 hours in my pc watching hentai and played doom with huge lag i guess i shiould go to bed now
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[22:43:02] • Quit: (SkullRush) (~SkullRush@SkullRush.users.zandronum.com) ("Quitting")
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RE: Taking my leave

#10

Post by Zakken » Sun Apr 26, 2015 11:00 pm

Ivan wrote: You never had the potential to "become the best" (as if it matters)
A lot of people have the potential to be the best at something. It all comes down to how much effort you're willing to put into achieving that goal. Remember that a great majority of the top players started out as scrubs too. Saying I never had the potential while I'm among the top 8 CTF players (and probably will continue to rank as such for a while even with my current mindset) comes off as unnecessarily mean.
Ivan wrote:You finally realize you wasted your time.
Indeed, I didn't get what I wished for, but that doesn't mean I wasted my time. I learned a lot of things along the way, which should help me out in my future endeavors.
Decay wrote: Thanks for the read, see you in 2 weeks.
Given your response, I'm pretty sure you didn't even read it though.
Ænima wrote: Why even make a big deal about it though?
If you're talking about the creation of this thread, it is directly related to me disbanding AV and discontinuing Tendency. Since they are both things largely known in the community, I think it is only fair that I let everyone know why I did those things.
FateLord wrote: AV was a good clan, I had a good 5 months in it. However, it wasn't the most active clan. What clan you are in affects greatly on your outlook of competition. AV was practically inactive it's whole life. AV wasn't the right clan for you, considering your endeavors in this port.
That is a hasty conclusion of yours, to assume that AV wasn't right for me. Indeed, it did not take off in a few departments, but it definitely did me good in several others, those being things that no other clan could've delivered to me.
FateLord wrote:Every year, for as long as I've been on this port (which isn't that long), competition increased, and then competition decreased. This would fluctuate with the seasons, the decrease happens in the Winter, and the increase happens in the Summer. People just get busy. Their IRL endeavors are more important than Doom. They can't help it. People are getting older, so their schedule becomes more full.
I was an active member of this community since 2010, so I am no stranger to all of those fluctuations in activity. But so many things happened, and the community was divided so many times over that we lost too many players, and high-tier ones at that. I'm not sure what's gonna happen in the future, but it will certainly take a long time until activity gets big again, if at all.
FateLord wrote:My conclusion is this: Instead of focusing on the old legacy players, and competitive doom being like the way it "used to be," focus on what's new, such as the new players, or new server updates. Move with the speed of the port. Try a new clan or something, with new players, or join one, don't give up on Doom just because it's not how it used to be. It's time for all of us to grow up.
I wasn't trying to cater to the old veterans, and I surely welcomed new players in general, but the trade-off between good players that left and rookies who came in was still quite unsatisfactory, in my opinion. I'm not "stuck in the past" as a couple of you have assumed. I wasn't trying to increase activity mainly for nostalgia's sake.

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RE: Taking my leave

#11

Post by Ru5tK1ng » Mon Apr 27, 2015 1:42 am

I would hate to start deteriorating severely at the age of 21....

In a different time all these tournaments would have worked, but it's just too little, too late for that kind of effort. GGs next map
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RE: Taking my leave

#12

Post by Arctangent » Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:43 am

Technically, somewhere past 25 years old is when you reach your mental apex, and the decline doesn't start until looooong after.

This all changes depending on your drug use and other factors, mind, but that's the general way it works.

Also, yeesh. Regardless of whether or not this leave is permanent, these're some real pleasant attitudes showing in this thread.
Last edited by Arctangent on Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

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RE: Taking my leave

#13

Post by Zakken » Mon Apr 27, 2015 4:46 am

Arctangent wrote:Technically, somewhere past 25 years old is when you reach your mental apex, and the decline doesn't start until looooong after.

This all changes depending on your drug use and other factors, mind, but that's the general way it works.
Ah, yes, indeed. I didn't want to make it sound like my decline would start really soon. Most people do start their professional gaming careers at around my age or even before then, so I figure I should've made my decision by now.
Arctangent wrote:Also, yeesh. Regardless of whether or not this leave is permanent, these're some real pleasant attitudes showing in this thread.
Ignore them. Let haters be haters, and don't feed the trolls, I say. Some of them are known for antagonizing me for years now, so it's not like I didn't expect them to do the same here. c:

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RE: Taking my leave

#14

Post by Hammerfest- » Mon Apr 27, 2015 4:56 am

Arctangent wrote: Technically, somewhere past 25 years old is when you reach your mental apex, and the decline doesn't start until looooong after.

This all changes depending on your drug use and other factors, mind, but that's the general way it works.

Also, yeesh. Regardless of whether or not this leave is permanent, these're some real pleasant attitudes showing in this thread.
The problem is that a lot of antagonizing and problems have come from Soul too (and no offence Soul because I'm not trying to egg on you either, just stating the truth.)
Plus Decay pointed it out, these threads and their authors aren't exactly received well due to people using it previously to try to create drama and garner unnecessary attention when they come back anyways. It's always a source of shitflinging.

EDIT: Regardless, have fun with whatever you plan on doing Soul.
Last edited by Hammerfest- on Mon Apr 27, 2015 4:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Taking my leave

#15

Post by Tenchu » Mon Apr 27, 2015 7:03 am

Hammerfest- wrote:
Arctangent wrote: Also, yeesh. Regardless of whether or not this leave is permanent, these're some real pleasant attitudes showing in this thread.
The problem is that a lot of antagonizing and problems have come from Soul too (and no offence Soul because I'm not trying to egg on you either, just stating the truth.)
Incorrect. The problem is that these "attitudes" came in here unprovoked and started insulting and belittling Soul for no real justified reason other than to attack his character. Soul did not antagonize anyone with this thread. He did not call anyone out, he did not make any sort of claim or accusation against anyone. Their behavior in this thread is completely inexcusable, which I think is what Arctangent was pointing out.

Now, I'm not saying Soul hasn't antagonized people elsewhere in time. That I can't comment on. But when it comes to *this* thread, he did absolutely nothing to warrant him being attacked the way he was.
[22:42:21] [@SkullRush] ok guys today was one of the worst days of my life i spent p much 18 hours in my pc watching hentai and played doom with huge lag i guess i shiould go to bed now
[22:42:26] [@SkullRush] if i dont suicide, see you guys tomorrow
[22:42:29] [@SkullRush] bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb^_^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
[22:43:02] • Quit: (SkullRush) (~SkullRush@SkullRush.users.zandronum.com) ("Quitting")
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[22:43:47] [+Jenova] ur avg zandronum player ladies and gentlemen

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RE: Taking my leave

#16

Post by Ænima » Mon Apr 27, 2015 11:16 am

Arctangent wrote: Technically, somewhere past 25 years old is when you reach your mental apex, and the decline doesn't start until looooong after.

This all changes depending on your drug use and other factors
Spoiler: (Open)
Idunno drugs worked pretty well for these old guys

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I think this "mental apex" thing is a myth. You're only as old as you feel and if you're still playing as bad as you did when you were 14 and you're only 25 then you're just not improving. From a neurologist's standpoint, yeah maybe the learning part of your brain isn't as elastic as a kid's but you can't really use that as an excuse for not improving at a video game. (Not talking to SS specifically , just rambling.) If anything you're just out-of-practice because you don't play competitive Doom for 3+ hours a day like you did when you were 16. Hell even a shitbucket player like me could improve if I had more time to practice (and a willingness to even improve in the first place).
Soul wrote: Ah, yes, indeed. I didn't want to make it sound like my decline would start really soon. Most people do start their professional gaming careers at around my age or even before then, so I figure I should've made my decision by now.
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RE: Taking my leave

#17

Post by Arctangent » Mon Apr 27, 2015 11:57 am

It's not so much a "mental apex" as a mental plateau. Around 25 years old is when your brain stops developing, but that doesn't mean your mental health can only go down from there; it just continues as is until you reach the really late ages, if even that. That also doesn't mean you stop being able to learn or improve mentally, either, just that your mental growth isn't going anywhere anymore.

I don't think it really has much of an effect unless your mental growth was cripplingly stunted before that threshold; it's just ( from the experiences of others, at least ) pretty disorientating when you're 25 and then you're 35 and then you're 45 and you never realized it because your brain hadn't developed at all those ten and twenty years.

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RE: Taking my leave

#18

Post by Ivan » Mon Apr 27, 2015 2:41 pm

Decay wrote:
Ten wrote:
Hammerfest- wrote:
Arctangent wrote: Also, yeesh. Regardless of whether or not this leave is permanent, these're some real pleasant attitudes showing in this thread.
The problem is that a lot of antagonizing and problems have come from Soul too (and no offence Soul because I'm not trying to egg on you either, just stating the truth.)
Incorrect. The problem is that these "attitudes" came in here unprovoked and started insulting and belittling Soul for no real justified reason other than to attack his character. Soul did not antagonize anyone with this thread. He did not call anyone out, he did not make any sort of claim or accusation against anyone. Their behavior in this thread is completely inexcusable, which I think is what Arctangent was pointing out.

Now, I'm not saying Soul hasn't antagonized people elsewhere in time. That I can't comment on. But when it comes to *this* thread, he did absolutely nothing to warrant him being attacked the way he was.
Your quit threads were pretty funny too. They also had an excellent response.
[spoiler]Image[/spoiler]
Too bad people never learn when to actually quit. This thread and that picture are great examples of this.
Last edited by Ivan on Mon Apr 27, 2015 2:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Taking my leave

#19

Post by Fused » Mon Apr 27, 2015 2:43 pm

I'll be trashing this now since the thread is going nowhere sensible. I understand you want to announce your leave Soul, but you could have known it would result in this.
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