New Super Shitty Map Contest!

[Catastrophe]

i think i i,ll join just for the hell of it.

We have a strong contender...

[TheMisterCat]

FRUZZLEWUMPS - Download
my entry

[Gardevoir]

Well guys, this summer is busy for me and I must leave for another 2 weeks and so, I give everyone two more weeks for their map submittions, that's 'till 4th of August. I hope everyone will submit their maps when I'm back!

[fr blood]

Damn it I'm too busy I won't have the time to make the map, remove me from the list please.

[Strych6]

Damn havent had time yet, but this extension could bid well for me

[Vlad the Impaler]

Hell, I can't even make a good map. Might as well give a shot at a bad, horrible map.

EDIT: Here's my horrible, albeit somewhat playable map. "Thy Kush Consumed"

http://speedy.sh/qpwqJ/Thy-Kush-Consumed.wad

You are Kushguy, and the Nazis have taken all your Kush. You have to get it back or else you'll die from Kush withdrawal.

Go now, for larger justice.

[Sir_Dyalot]

Welp. I'd better go ahead and submit this bowl of shit, before I accidentally make it good.

Sir Dyalot's ShitFest:

http://www.[bad site]/download?file= ... itfest.pk3

Complete with some shitty 3d floors, shitty slopes, shitty DECORATE actors, shitty music, shitty ACS scripts, shitty MAPINFO for a shitty sky, and some shitty SNDSEQ entries for shitty polyobjects.

README from inside:
[spoiler]Sir Dyalot's ShitFest

--
Poor excuse for a plot:

UAC sent you on a pretty shitty mission; turns out, the rift on Earth wasn't the only one they needed cleaned up. Your ship crash lands
on an uncharted planet that looks from the outside like a giant bowl of shit; meanwhile, your dimensional flux detectors are off the charts.
Under siege from a tragically familiar horde of hellish beasts, your crew hastily converts the wreckage into a makeshift base amidst the rocks and
radioactive slime, complete with a missile defense system. Unfortunately, most of your fellow space marines died during construction,
and this shitty base won't last long enough to wait for backup.

---

This map was made for the 2014 Shitty Map Contest as listed at http://zandronum.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=4931

Skill levels are only partially implemented; most areas have the same things regardless of skill level set

The MAPINFO gives a map name and alternate sky (using Doom 2 resources). The level will function without it, but the sky will go back to default.
If placed in another map pack, obviously, mapinfo will need to be adjusted based on map sequence (or removed).

Music is defined in MAPINFO, included. ("Into the Shitworld", a shitty song by Christian Death). Also optional.

The SNDSEQ uses built-in doom 2 sounds to define some polyobject sounds. The level will function without it, but the sliding door will be silent.
Of course, one of the doors doesn't seem to make any sound regardless.
The DECORATE script defines some new actors used by the map, also based on doom 2 resources. The level will NOT function without it.
Also, some actors call scripts specific to this map, though many are reusable out of context.

(c) 2014 Sir Dyalot; anyone can make modifications with attribution. if you use the actual map design, please leave my signature intact.
if you use the decorate script, just put me in the comments or readme / credits somewhere.

Editor Used: SLADE 3.1.0 (for all its flaws, its the only half-decent editor that works natively in Linux out of the box)

Inspiration From: irc.zandronum.org #zamapping
Miscellaneous other modders, whose code I read (but did not copy).
ZDoom Wiki[/spoiler]

Warning: Oversized level takes at least 10-15 minutes to complete. Not tested in coop (though it was designed to work there). Technically deathmatch compatible, but also not tested.

---

PS: Why are people using SpeedyShare for this? That site is made of spam. No legit download site should require me to download an exe file. (edit: okay, there is a non-exe link, but it's still a shitty site.)

---

PPS: The very last part apparently crashes in coop (at least on 1 test). Worked fine in single player. If I can figure out how to fix it, an update will be released.
UPDATE 7/22: http://www.[bad site]/download?file= ... ppatch.pk3 will make the ending work in coop in Zandronum (at the cost of a purely cosmetic decorate code change)

[Ruin]

PS:
Why are people using SpeedyShare for this? That site is made of spam. No legit download site should require me to download an exe file.

I don't know what kind of problems you're having, but I am able to download wads off speedyshare with no need for an executable file.

[Catastrophe]

The only thing wrong with speedyshare is that download links eventually expire. You're better off with dropbox or filesmelt.

PS:
Why are people using SpeedyShare for this? That site is made of spam. No legit download site should require me to download an exe file.

https://adblockplus.org/

[Combinebobnt]

Wait decorate is allowed?

[Sir_Dyalot]

The only thing wrong with speedyshare is that download links eventually expire. You're better off with dropbox or filesmelt.

PS:
Why are people using SpeedyShare for this? That site is made of spam. No legit download site should require me to download an exe file.

https://adblockplus.org/

Yeah im using adblock. I'm also using Linux. I also didn't notice the real download link is at the top of the page.

There is plenty of free hosting available, especially for Doom stuff, that has direct download links without all this spam. Do people just google "free file hosting" and click on whatever?

[Catastrophe]

Wait decorate is allowed?

13) No custom content allowed. (Unless you are using Doom2 resources as base, Decorate lumps are allowed.)

As long as you don't use custom sprites that wasn't made from decorate or acs, you're good to go.

[Combinebobnt]

Uh oh this will change everything then, time for the worst coding ever

[Infirnex]

Download "Deja Vu"

Life happened so this isn't EXACTLY what I wanted to accomplish. Nevertheless, the map is completable and annoying, so I guess it works.
As such, I present Deja Vu.

[CloudFlash]

The day was relatively calm - only one granny reported her neighbours acting too loud, otherwise not a single call. Can't say I didn't enjoy that - after all, that only meant I would get paid for nothing. Hours passed, and I tried to beat off my boredom by playing what little games there were on my mobile. They all got boring after a moment, through, so I decided to listen to some music, watch some videos on Youtube, and, by all means, procastrinate.
Suddenly, in the middle of yet another silly cat video, the phone rang. I checked the time. It was 3:28 AM. Without further delay, I picked up that call, that godsdamned call.
The first thing I heard after saying all those official formulas was woman whispering "Please do not hang up. You are my only hope". Then, she raised her voice and practically yelled to the mic, "Hi, Mike! How long am I supposed to wait for your lazy ass to pop up?"
What the hell, I thought. To the receiver, I said "Excuse me, ma'am, but this line is for real calls only. Please-"
That was the furthest I managed before I got interrupted. "Yeah, I'm already on my way to <Name of the Local Pub>. Oh, and also, I finally found what horror could we watch together tommorow!"
I cursed silently in my mind. "Look, ma'am-"
"Name is <<I'm being stalked by the killer bear>>. You know, that new horror that just got around week ago."
Now I was entirely sure the woman was basket case. "Excuse me, ma'am, but I am pretty sure you got the wrong number. This is-"
Again, I was interrupted. "You know, that movie about a girl named <<Jessica Kenigsmann>> who goes to the pub and on her way is being stalked by a tall dude in a bear costume. I heard it gets nice reviews."
I sighed heavily, not even bothering now to hide my weariness. "Look, ma'am, I get that today is April Fools. I get it. But please, this number is reserved only for the real-"
"Most of people criticised the main villain's portrayal, tho," the woman continued, oblivious to my pleas. "They say stuff like, <hurr, it's just a man with a bear costume, he shouldn't be that high>>, or <durr, the two feet long claws are overused>>, but I don't think that matters anyway. We're just going to see people having their heads chopped off, aren't we, Mike?"
This was followed by a long - and obviously forced - imitation of hearthly laughter.
I started feeling slightly uncomfortable. The wooman's tone was too serious to imply a prank call. Sure, it could be just that she was very good at voice acting... but maybe she is in grave danger? Maybe she is using that information to make her chaser think she is completely oblivious to his presence while she tips the police?...
No, I said to myself. Today is April Fools. Today is the day people phone each other to say stuff like "I'm being stalked by a killer bear" in their best, grave voice and then hang up while cackling. Today was not the day one could trust anything that falls out of the 'relatively normal' canon. Today was not the day to trust random pranks.
"Yeah, ma'am," I spoke to the receiver, "I'm sure we are."
And then I hung up.
Nobody called for the rest of the night. I continued watching kitty videos, except this time not out of boredom - this time, to drag my thoughts away from the weird call. Video after video, minutes passed, and before I knew it, the daytime workers gradually started popping up.
My shift ended on 6.30 AM. I wished my replacement a good day, pocketed my phone and walked out from the police station. I took my bus home, dropped the official outfit, grabbed a beer and got to sleep.
When I woke up it was 8 PM already. I made myself some toasts, prepared myself some coffe and turned on the radio.
"And now for the today's special: A woman has been found beheaded near the <Name of the Local Pub>. According to the witness, she was accompanied by an empty, bloodied costume of a two meters tall, brown bear. The victim's mobile phone was found nearby, suggesting that was not a robbery. Strangely, the police states that the found suit contains no evidence of ever being in use; it is devoid of human sweat and hair, and as such, nullificating any chances to find biological traces, such as the villain's DNA. If you have any information you think could help the police in the investigation, please call..."
I sipped my coffe. "Poor Jessica...", I mumbled under my breath.
And then it finally dawned on me.

Find the one which will bring you to the exit
It is important that you not die
If you cannot use it, shot it inside-out
Water below is cold, but it could always become even colder
Remember: 928337771
[spoiler][/spoiler]

[DRL 3.33]

Was going to submit my map tomorrow but I've been having computer problems today so I figured I should just submit it now to be safe.

Anyway, here it is: https://www.dropbox.com/s/5lfz4f0idcvhu ... uckery.wad

It's a vanilla compatible map that's like a real attempt to make something good gone horribly wrong. Play it in vanilla/chocolate Doom for the shittiest experience.


Also, I made a short bonus map. This one is a ZDoom map and uses a custom monster. Works fine in Zandronum. Not sure if you're accepting bonus maps this time, but if you are, here it is: https://www.dropbox.com/s/ell5fekv2qklw ... Demons.wad

[Gardevoir]

Guess who's back everyone! Alright then, I'm giving everyone 24 more hours to submit their maps. Tommorow I will put all the links in the first post and begin judging all the maps.

[Combinebobnt]

https://www.mediafire.com/?61364o19r67d778
Supports singleplayer + cooperative + deathmatch
I beat it in 1:10:00 without jump or crouch or cheats
No decorate at all, but custom soundtrack
Epilespy Warning
Have fun

[ARGENTVM]

The Life of Kilgore

https://www.mediafire.com/?wiu36wk6l8r0t0w

Contains some shitty decorate that I rushed in about an hour or so.
The map works and plays in multiplayer, but can crash randomly (in other words it's best for multiplayer and should play in multiplayer) so I have random exits assigned to a random wall in different areas so check your automap often (this is my lazy way of 'fixing' this problem).

I'd post a life story or something but yeah I won't ruin the story of our hero and I'm lazy so have fun finding the story for yourself.

[Gardevoir]

Thanks for all the submissions guys! I hope you did your worst when making these maps. We will try to judge them as fast as we can!