Fortunately/Unfortunately (Return To The Castle Zandronum)

[Spottswoode]

Fortunately, Cthulhu was old friends with Igor and decided to change the Gamemode to Deathmatch for his old friend. Igor respawned, picked up the BFG 10k, and fragged the entire Ginyu Force (dealing well over 9000 damage per hit) causing them to respawn on their homeplanets. Cthulhu laughed at this and accidentally destroyed half of Hitler's new zombie army.
Unfortunately.....

[mifu]

Unfortunately Hitler got pissed off. He got so mad that he had prepared his mecha suit, got in the suit and starting fragging. Even though Igor is fast, sneaky and knows his spawns he barely survived Hitler's shitty aim. He only has 1 hp left. Fortunatly...

[Cruduxy]

Fortunately Hitler was standing on a teleport pad and got telefragged by a lost soul.. Igor's many blind followers came out of their shelters and made short work of the entire zombie army..

However.. while no one was looking

[Spottswoode]

Unfortunately Hitler's original zombie army (the one that got lost) finally found it's way to Castle Zandronum along with the newly respawned Kraken. The Kraken began devouring Igor's blind followers whole sale and the zombies swarmed Igor. Cthulhu laughed an evil laugh and gave the zombies rage powerups. Igor was running low on cells for his bfg10k and had only put a small dent in the zombie army.
Fortunately....

[mifu]

Fortunately something weird happened. Igor looked up to notice a portal in the sky just above the zombie army. Next thing Igor knows is the portal got activated and a swarm off dark bishops came ascending down from the sky making quick work of the zombie army. A few seconds later Korax came though the portal and happened to land on the Kraken. Korax started attacking the Kraken with his most powerful attacks. Igor started yelling "ARE YOU PART OF CASTLE ZANDRONUM TOO!?!?" Unfortunately....

[CloudFlash]

Unfortunately, they weren't. As soon as Korax and his army of bishops have beaten the living shit out of Hitler's army, they turned to Igor and Tyrone, who seriously hoped he would be left alone from this epic fight because he had no weapons on him.

[Spottswoode]

Fortunately, Korax owed Cthulhu a great deal of money and kindly excused Igor from the scene. Cthulhu reminded Korax of his debt, before departing the scene, and urged him to strongly resist the temptation to .....disappear. Unfortunately....

[Edward-san]

Unfortunately, Korax was one of the chairmans in the U.S. Federal Reserve, hence he managed to spawn an equivalent of 1 Trillion of $ by ordering the executive to print the needed money and teleporting these to the current location.

With the printed money, Korax payed the debt and corrupted Cthulhu in order to set the gameplay back to Survival 1 life. After that, Korax killed Cthulhu and took all the money, worth 2 Trillions of $, and sent the money back to the Fed.

The situation was bad: Americans managed to recover from the crisis with the fresh money, and in sign of gratitude, people sent 1 million of US soldiers to castle zandronum, Korax and the bishops were going to fire their most powerful attacks.

Fortunately...

[mifu]

Fortunately Igor remembered that he had something in his castle. An old relic from the planet chronos which was given to him from an old friend that was also nameless. Igor made a run for the castle and went to the room labeled "The room of chaos". From there he found the Chaos sphere, the same sphere the serpent rider Korax used to corrupt and conquer various dimensions and planets. It would of been possible that he also corrupted the U.S Federal Reserve ages ago.

Anyways Igor came running back and placed the chaos sphere on the ground. Korax started to feel uneasy then he looked back to find that the chaos sphere was in Igor's hands. Korax got scared and had a sense of urgency to aim for the sphere with his most powerful attack but it was too late. Since the chaos sphere could create worlds or destroy them he opened up a portal which looked like it led to a void and started to suck Korax and his minions in. The US soldiers also fled to never return to castle Zandronum. Alas Korax, and Hitlers zombie army has been defeated. Unfortunately...

[CloudFlash]

Unfortunately, the chaos sphere sucked Castle Zandronum too, which led Tyrone to terrible revelation that now his existence is pretty much pointless, considering that visiting Castle Zandronum was his lifelong dream.

[Edward-san]

Fortunately, this is THE END, so we won't know what terrible end had Tyrone.


A new story follows:

100 Years After The Epic Story, Humanity rebuilt Castle Zandronum, because of the great historical value. The structure got renovated: it had all the most advanced technologies to keep the structure anti-seismic, sound proofed, thermal isolated and with no dependence to the external sources, ie the dream of any green activist.
The castle also got the most advanced defense system from alien attacks, including tons of anti-matter cannons, ie the nightmare of any peace activist.

The castle was celebrated as the new building wonder of all the humanity by the angels of the Heaven, because it managed to repel all the attacks from the ultra evil Underworld.

One day, or better, a raining night, a grumpy man came to the Castle, with a particular goofy movement. He managed to pass the entrance by brainwashing the guardians, which were ... uh ... what? Chex Warriors? ... anyways, he got in a dark room and began his enchant, which could be translated as:
"Doctor Frankenstein! Where are you? Frankenstein! Ah, you're right, you're Frankensteen! Frankensteen! Wake Up!" and a big shadow came near the dark room.

Unfortunately ...

[CloudFlash]

Unfortunately, Doctor Frankenstein was at the yearly Men With Smashing Names Meetup, and it was just his secretary. She was a very intresting character, too... Last year, she won silver medal in wrestling championships, and year before that she earned gold medal in pancake eating contest.

[Slim]

Fortunately, a stand-in flew in the window, It was Dr. "Fronk-en-steen".
He told our grumpy man that he have to wait until Monday for the real doctor to come home. So he decided to let the grumpy guy lighten up in a ball pit. :D

Unfortunately.... Something pink was a result.

[CloudFlash]

Said pink thing was a baby koala, who just happened to swim in the ball pit moments before the grumpy man jumped inside with grumpy 'HUMPH.' When he landed on the pink koala it let out a loud yelp and transformed into a 5 km tall gorilla in the span of two seconds.
The gorilla wasn't much pleased about being awoken from it's 9000 years old slumber and decided to destroy the whole rebuilded Castle Zandronum, because hey why not.

[Bloax]

Fortunately divine intervention followed and banished the ape from existence once and for all.
The grumpy man shook it off while being reminded of some weird citation. "Deus Eksmachine" or something weird like that.

[CloudFlash]

Unofrunately divine intervention always comes with a price, so the grumpy man now had to change his name to Eustace. Ouch.

[Slim]

Fortunately, all that happened with the ape was a concussion dream from hitting the edge of the ballpit, the real pink thing was Courage the cowardly dog, and Eustace lifted him up by the leg and tossed him out the window. Shattering the glass.

Unfortunately.....

[Bloax]

Unfortunately Courage prayed for revenge to the dark gods as he crashed through the window and his skull caved in on the pavement, and Eustace was hit by a terrible curse..

He felt strange for a moment, but upon further inspection there was no doubt.. He was now IGOR.

[Tomthetom]

fortunately , Igor has super power and killed all the humans on earth.
(in lulz we trust)

[CloudFlash]

Unfortunately all dead humans turned to zombies and started eating each other's brain. Soon the price of fresh brain rocketed too high for global economy to handle it, which resulted in development of poverty, riots, zombie anarchy and pretty much third AoW.
Oh, and Igor found out that he was no longer Igor. Instead, the overusage of his own power turned him into big breasted loli with very squeaky and annoying voice.